Friday, August 10, 2012

The Past Six Months

I know, I know!  Where have I been??

Well, I originally started this blog to document my pregnancy from start to finish, but we're still waiting patiently (sometimes) for that to happen!  I stopped blogging because the stuff that was going on in my life kind of sucked and I wasn't sure I wanted it documented.  Now that I've perked your interest, I'll share a bit.

February 24th- I'm not sure I'll ever forget this date.  It's the day I ended my teaching career.  At least for now I don't see myself going back.  (Tears just welled up in my eyes.)  This past year of teaching was incredibly difficult because of the extreme behaviors of most of the students in my class.  I visited my doctor, Dr. Engstrom (sooooo great!) because I just wasn't feeling healthy.  I had lost about 10 pounds since starting the school year which I couldn't afford to lose.  I wasn't eating much and I felt very tired all the time.  I wasn't happy with my job and dreaded going every day.  I really felt like I lost my passion for teaching and my patience with many of my students was completely gone.  I couldn't be in an environment where I was being completely disrespected day in and day out.  It was toxic.  After crying in the doctor's office, I was diagnosed with depression, and he highly recommended that I didn't return to the classroom for the remainder of the school year.  Talk about a lot to think about.  For the next two days I was a complete wreck!  I cried constantly because I was experiencing such immense guilt for leaving my job before my contract was up.  I just felt like if I left I would be letting sooooo many people down.  I knew deep down it was the right decision (thank You God for being so deeply rooted in me), but the right decision doesn't mean it's easy.  I thank God for my family and best friends who helped me through this terrible ordeal.  I finally made the decision to leave on February 24th and told my principal on the 27th that I wasn't returning.  I thought I would feel a sense of relief knowing I wouldn't have to teach those students anymore, but instead I felt a horrible sense of being lost.  (tears again)  I felt like I had lost my identity, who I was for the past 8 years or so (including college and years teaching).  I knew I wanted to go back to school to become an occupational therapy assistant, but I was still losing a big part of who I was.  I dreamed constantly about my students.  Always sneaking around campus trying to spy on them without them seeing me.  I hated the dreams.  I worried about how the sub was handling them, but was really happy I wasn't.  Then boredom set in.  Sleeping till 11:00, eating junk food, watching tv, playing solitaire.  I couldn't get another job until the school year ended, so what else was there to do.  I hated who I was when I was teaching that year, but I didn't like the new lazy me either.  Not liking yourself sucks!  I kept telling myself that when the school year ended, I would finally feel that sense of relief and surprisingly I did.  There was something theraputic about cleaning out my classroom.  It didn't make me sad because I didn't really miss teaching.  I still don't.  I dearly miss my teaching friends.  The best friends I've ever had.  They were so supportive of me leaving to get "happy" again, and I thank God for them putting up with my crappy attitude sometimes.  No one once said they thought I was being selfish for leaving, and they all hugged me, said they loved me, and to take care of myself first and foremost.  I couldn't have done it without their support.  I'm hoping writing this down will put an end to my feelings about the situation, but I know it probably won't.  Six months is a long time to grieve to over something, but I guess God is still working in me.

Now on to other things....
I mentioned occupational therapy above....well it's amazing!  I volunteered in a few places to make sure this was what I really wanted to do before going back to college.  I am in my 2nd class and only 4 more pre-reqs before I start the actual OT classes.  I'm excited!!!!  At Brown Mackie College, I only take one class per month.  Four weeks, three times a week, for four hours.  Sit in class 12 times and the class is over.  I love it!!!  I'd never want to go back to a traditional semester schedule of taking 4-5 classes for 16 thanks!  Here's me in my "uniform" on the first day of class- July 2.  Being able to go back to school is a definite blessing!

Stay tuned....I promise to update several times a month. :)  Keep me honest and nag me if I'm not blogging!


Monday, January 2, 2012

Moving Day!

The pictures below are from Sunday, December 17th- Moving Day!  The week before moving day was pretty busy.  Kitchen cabinets went in on Tuesday, tile went in on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, carpet went in on Saturday, and we moved in on Sunday!  Everything was basically ready for us to move in except we didn't have counter tops in the kitchen which meant no sink.  Fourteen days later we got counter tops!  It's been exhausting, stressful, expensive.....but mostly really fun! :)

Thanks to all our family who helped us move!  We couldn't have done it without you!

Aunt Cindy taking down the drapes in our bedroom.
Jumping on the bed!


Playing some air guitar on moving day....
Get to work! :)

Loading up the dolly taking boxes
to the moving truck.
 Working together to take the desk apart.


Getting dizzy wrapping the plastic 
around most of our furniture.

 "Playing Tetris" trying to fit everything in the moving truck.

Saying Good-bye to our first home in Surprise.

Eating pizza for lunch in the new house!


Moving furniture upstairs was a nightmare!  We all joked that all the heavy stuff goes upstairs and all the light stuff stays downstairs.


Robert joked that our bedroom dressers must be made of cement because they are ridiculously heavy.  It took five of us to push it up the stairs.  It's hard to tell but Robert is above the dresser at the top of the stairs, and I'm smooshed underneath Aunt Cindy because she kept moving as the dresser went upstairs and I got stuck somehow.  Hilarious!
Jax hanging out with Jenny!

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Tearing Apart to Rebuild: Demolition

Here are some pictures of the demo at our new house.  We thankfully had a lot of help from our family and after two months we are finally done....well almost!  After pictures of our new and improved home will be posted soon.

The boys helped take small pieces of carpet padding down the stairs and into the garage.

Robert hurt himself by the huge staples while pulling up the carpet on the stairs.  Thankfully it was the only injury!

Jim came over almost every weekend to help us with anything we needed.  Thanks so much Jim!

Everyone pitched in to sweep up the broken tile pieces and take them into the garage!  
It seemed to never end!

We piled the rolls of carpet and padding over the broken pile.  It didn't take the boys long to realize that the giant mound made a great playground!

Jim and Robert took turns using the jack hammer type tool to bust up all the tile.


Here's the boys on the carpet pile.  We made a slide on one side to keep them busy.

Jim and Robert gladly gave Grandpa a turn on jack hammer.  He wasn't too impressed!

Below are pictures of all of us taking down the cabinets in the kitchen.  Here's where it really became real for me because the kitchen was the thing we really wanted to redo in the Surprise home but ended up not doing. 

                                              Grandma and Grandpa were a big help!

Robert, Jim, and I spent several weekends scrapping up the linoleum in the bathrooms and laundry room.  It was awful!

The house is getting painted!  We were thankful we made the decision to have professionals paint instead of doing it ourselves this time.  A 2200 sq. foot two story was way more than we wanted to paint!

Shopping trip to Home Depot!  Bought all new fans, bathroom lights and hallway lights, bathroom towel bars, toilet paper holders, medicine cabinets, and faucets.  Expensive, but exciting!  Worthy of a picture! 

Here I am cleaning all the outlet covers.  Moose, Kristy, and the boys came over that evening to help us put all the vents and outlet covers back on.  The boys were excellent helpers!

Jackson kept saying, "Me do it!"
Payton was all done!
Logan learned how to use a screwdriver today.

Below you will see Robert and our new neighbor Steve hoisting the backyard trees in the dumpster.  The backyard looks so much better now.  I didn't take a picture of it yet, but I'll make sure to take one of the backyard for the "After" pictures.

Planning it out....
Dragging it over...

Hoisting it up....Steve disappeared underneath!
Lifting it over...
Finally in the dumpster!

Above is Robert taking out the final cabinet once figuring out the plumbing.  Below are our new beautiful kitchen cabinets!  LOVE THEM!

We decided to change out the sliding glass door with these beautiful french doors.  They look so much better (and work better!).

                                Above is the beginning stages of tile.  It turned out really nice!

Here's Robert, Jonny, and Jim finishing up some final touches and installing fans in the loft.

 Above are pictures of our finished kitchen with black granite counter tops!  We still need to install the microwave, but take a look at the old kitchen below.  The difference is amazing! 

 Final words: GOD IS GOOD!  He has blessed us with so much!